- The Reluctant He💔rt March 1, 2020 We die as we have lived, and if sexuality and intimacy has been a part of your life, then it stands to reason it will also be an important part at the end of your life. There may be a reluctance to discuss intimacy during a time when we are faced with our own mortality – despite sadness, exhaustion, or other symptoms, there is still opportunity to establish deep intimacy and connection. 💖 Of note, although not everyone will face these challenges, there is a need for sensitivity to cultural beliefs around sexuality, possible past infidelity, trauma, abuse, or assault. Consideration ...
- Performing “rituals” may have gotten a bad rap. February 17, 2017
Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com The word “ritual” may conjure up visions of nefarious actions designed to incite negativity. Lighting birthday candles is a type of ritual that most of us enjoy. I think there is a sacred place for rituals and ceremonies in death and dying. It is a way to remember and celebrate our lives and honour our deaths. Public Mourning & Private Mourning Mourning is an expression of our grief. Consider the following: rituals are a way to symbolically express our feelings of grief and feel connected to someone we have loved who has died. A funeral service and memorials are a ...
- Continuing Bonds … not “closure” February 17, 2017
Photo courtesy of Dreamstime.com For years, the collective wisdom told us we needed to “seek closure” when someone dies. It would then, supposedly, become easier to “move on” and live our lives. Now, researchers and advocates of death and dying have determined we need not cut the ties we have with those we have formed bonds and connections with. Continuing Bonds “Unsent letters” (Neimeyer, 2002) are an attempt to say “hello again” (White, 1989) rather than saying a final goodbye to your loved one. The important thing to remember when writing this letter is to reopen contact with the person you love rather ...
- Complicated Grief February 4, 2017
Photo by: Dreamstime 82946486 In October 2016, I attended a workshop sponsored by Bereavement Ontario Network and presented by Dr. M. Katherine Shear. Dr. Shear has studied complicated grief and believes the type of bond and connection we have with the person who has died, and whether we feel stuck or stopped in our mourning process, determines whether grief becomes complicated. For more information regarding Dr. Shear’s work, please visit http://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu The researchers in death and dying have different definitions of COMPLICATED GRIEF. At its most fundamental level, complicated grief arises when there is an inability to integrate and reconcile your loss and adapt to ...
- Community Engagement Group – Grief and Loss January 13, 2017
Image provided by: Dreamstime Jan 2017 NOTE: Thank you to those participants who shared their stories and memories. I am honoured to be a part of your grief journey and that you allowed me into your lives for a brief time. May 2017, Michelle. For those interested in a group format, with enough interest I will run the following module in the community: First week workshop: Grief & Loss information The Mourner’s Bill of Rights (Alan D. Wolfelt) Emotions and Mourning Self Care (including local resources) Second week workshop includes: Public Mourning/Private Mourning Continuing Bonds Memories Book Project – supplies are provided to help you begin to create a legacy book ...