That is Burn Out

Many people confuse “being strong” with “resiliency”.  When a person is strong for others and always the one being leaned on, they may be neglecting their own needs and self care.  It is much like the put your oxygen mask on first when the plane is going down scenario.  Even Arnold Schwarzenegger or Trish Stratus is not going to be able to save anybody if they selflessly hand over the oxygen mask to others.  It is best to save yourself first.  This may sound selfish but it’s not – it is self-care. 

Resiliency means to:

• ACCEPT don’t EXPECT – it is what it is (not what you think it ‘should’ be)
• BELIEVE in yourself, no need to compare yourself to others (this means not judging others)
• COMMUNICATE your needs and question what you don’t understand
• CONNECT with others and with your inner self
• COPE with changes and challenges by thinking them through & not feeling automatically defeated
• DISREGARD failure or criticism
• GET UP again and again and again when you are down
• HOPE for the future and in your inner strength
• LEARN the lessons from situations and keep moving forward
• LOOK for solutions – any problem or issue may have a number of different solutions
• OPPORTUNITIES – look for ways to grow from experiences
• PERSPECTIVE – look at the bigger picture – widen your focus
• POSITIVITY – keep a positive attitude in the face of stress
• RELEASE the past
• SELF-CARE – take care of your own healthy needs, wants and desires.  Allow yourself to feel your feelings and strengthen and relax your body (i.e. exercise, meditation, rest, down time, etc.)

Contrary to what some of us have been taught, it is not necessarily the strongest who survive.  Regarding survival of the fittest, Charles Darwin said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives.  It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”